Cracking the Code. Peeking Behind the Veil.
I had been seeking an explanation about the energy I was feeling. Electrical, pleasurable sensations were running up and down my limbs and spine. It was happening all the time. Whenever I would meditate, I would start to shake from the sensations. It was difficult to process it all. What is this energy? Does anyone discuss this?
After some research, I discovered kundalini activation/ rising and kundalini yoga. Doing Kundalini yoga activates endogenous chemicals through a mixture of breathing and repetitive exercises that can lead to a nondual state. In a sense it is like a psilocybin or DMT experience. During kundalini, I dissociated from self and started seeing the most amazing visuals. A blissful sensation arose in my body. I began to experience a state of pure bliss. I felt a sense of connectedness to the universe and God.
I would get overwhelmed by the beauty of it and tears would start to stream from my eyes. I would slowly control the tears and the heavy breathing, and start to slow down, by feeling the sensations and by slowing my breath thereby relaxing my muscles. I was learning to control the energy that awakened in my spine and limbs. I could channel it and experience the sensations. I learn to process the energy and the twitches diminished. I note the witness of all experience and become that. One with all.
Once during a kundalini yoga practice, I chanted some mantras and did a few stretches when I began to enter into the kundalini activation state. Just prior to entering I saw a bright light that resembled Jesus Christ or perhaps Moses. I struggled with the imagery wondering why my mind produced those images. Was the chemistry in my brain activating some kind of spirit structure. It certainly felt spiritual. Entering into this state of mind felt awesome and otherworldly. It felt divine, godly.
After that I entered into the mind blowing pleasurable state. I recall tears streaming from my eyes. I was blown away by the beauty of what my mind was experiencing I shook as I experienced the oneness. One with all, the universe, god. I become god. I meditate on the idea that we are all gods in our creative and loving realm. In our spiritual realm, we are gods. It is god. The feeling recedes. My ego slowly regains control of my body as I come down to a post experience bliss. Just relaxing with the one. An amazing state of blissful being. Can I do this all the time?!
My atheism was shattered. I had previously lost my faith in god in favor of science and rationality. Yet here I was experiencing nonduality. I suddenly believe that I am God, we are all gods. We have the power to create our world. To create life. To create businesses. Physical structures. Entire countries. We create memes. Art. Music. I began to look for a teacher. Someone to explain the mysteries and help me understand and contextualize my experiences.
I began listening to lectures by Dr. Richard Albert. He was the Harvard professor that went to India and discovered his guru and became Ram Dass. I loved hearing about Ram Dass’ guru Maharajji Neem Karoli Baba. He seemed to be in a state of nondual awareness. Ram Dass described Maharajji as a being without an ego. Just a being of pure love, a mirror to all people around him. A saint. Someone that cracked the human code and became godlike. He rose above nature and beyond science. Perfecting himself and his mind until he had no self. No ego. Non-dual, one with all. “Sub-Ek” , all one, as Maharajji said.
This cracking of the code can be done in many ways, most notably through meditation, entheogens, breath-work, chanting, praying, fasting and other forms of asceticism.
